Sloths! Lyrics

(SNL Digital Short)

[Announcer]:
And now, a message from the Staten Island Zoo.

[Karen Donnally]:
Greetings, wildlife enthusiasts! My name is Karen Donnally, and today I'd like to talk about some very special animals that don't get much attention: sloths! They're furry -- they have.. two or three toes, and, yes, they're very, very slow. Luckily, we've just received a brand new documentary on these adorable creatures, from a group of students at Staten Island Technical High School. I haven't seen it yet, but I heard it's a real eye-opener! Let's check it out!

[ SUPER: "Somewhere" ]

[ SUPER: "Deep In The Jungle" ]

"SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!

We sleep 18 hours, but we always party 24!
Hunt in packs, and we eat algae off our fur!

SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!

We got 3 toes, but we'll pound down 3,000 Bud Lights!
Break your nose, and kick your face in a punch fight!

SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!

We eat bamboo, but prefer your girls' ***********!
Shank your mom, with a pterodactyl ********* bone!

SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!

Hire a dog, to burn down a hospital!
Eat cocaine, off America's gravestone!

SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!

Don't call us slow
Don't call us slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-owwwwww!!

[ guitar riff ]

Kill all of your friends, and ride their corpses like a carousel!
Put your ****** inside our *****, and kill you if you ever tell!

SLOTHS!!"

[Karen Donnally]:
That was -- that was not entirely accurate.

[Announcer]:
This has been a message from the Staten Island Zoo.