If I was a gouger
Gouge would I wish for
If I was a fisherman
Fish would I fish for
If I was a french whore
Frenchies I'd dish for
Wish I had a dollar a day

Turkeys are for flyin'
Chickens are for eatin'
I'm all for fun
Fun's forbidden
Forbidden's forgotten
And forgotten's for gettin'
I wish I had a dollar a day

Buzzards are for circling
Circles are for heroes
Heroes for floatin'
Fiddles to Nero
Fingers for countin'
Numbers for zero
Wish I had a dollar a day

If I was Washington
Valleys would I forge for
If I was a fat man
Fun would I gorge for
If I was Gingus
Gold would I horde for
Wish I had a dollar a day

Oh, if I was Washington
I'd wear wood teeth
If I was a policeman
Walk me a stone beat
If I was a singer
I'd stop right now
I wish I had a dollar a day

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